Since before time began… all of the windy people were androgynous ladies and wore mini-skirts, yet somehow were still mistaken for boys sometimes because they were flat and had short hair and resembled boys somewhat. One day, the lesbian wind people had a boy born to them. They cried to the heavens, ‘What is this abomination? He has extra parts and we are unsure of what to do with them, though we have an idea, but we’re lesbians so don’t care to try.’ So after the bird goddess they worshiped said something, they didn’t listen and threw the child out into the cold and dark. He died there, all alone, after being killed by monstrous trees that hit him with stone hammers or whatever.
It was a long time later, but also somewhat soon to these previous events, thousands of miles away yet really only down the street, there were two lesbian wind people in a room, on the bed, doing whatever and like trying to have a baby or something. The official description involves pickles and donuts but we won’t get into that right now. Anyways, nothing actually happened because it was two girls and no never ask me why they were still getting children even though there were only girls, no comment. So the aforementioned birdy god thing had pity on the two lesbians… because she was watching because she was a perv, but whatever. After she was like done watching she came out of the clouds and said ‘Because that was really hot, I mean, uh, because of… something… you will both be with child and give birth, and these people may or may not be the birdy Messiah.’ So they ignored the bird goddess until they got really big with childs and whatever.
After the gestation of a bird person and other details we don’t need to get into, two birdy children were born to the couple. One was a chick… like a female, not a bird, but kinda a bird that had wings… and she was like awesome. Also one of them had a boy windy person, who was also like awesome in his own way. Sadly the male wind person ban law was in effect still, but when the lesbian guards came to take him away he turned into a supercute catboy and purred and jumped on their heads and was generally adorable and melted their legs and they were unable to stop him. He flew away straight after that because the estrogen or something was choking him, and all the lesbian wind girls made out because they were sad the catboy left. And it was really hot.
After leaving the windy place the boy flew and saw the sun and thought it was dumb because it was made of fire and dumb and that is dumb. Then after that he crashed into the world and left a giant crater and then became one of us and is among right now and you might even know him. Also Camelot made a game about him, called Golden Sun, only they turned him into a woman with helmet hair.
And all Feenie’s children said Amen.
